Herr Falschgold kocht

Anlaesslich des Versendens unseres sporadischen Studio B – Ablegers “Studio Frueh” auf dem lokalen coloRadio aus der Kueche im Background, dachten wir uns, die Rubrik “Herr Falschgold kocht und Frau Lumpini backt den Kuchen zum Nachtisch” nicht oral sondern videol vorzutragen und das auch noch LIVE.

Leider wurden wir von der Telekom rüde unterbrochen (DSL aus) – aber zum Glück fuer die Nachwelt wurde das Kunstwerk weiter per UMTS an justin.tv versendet und dort gespeichert, was die Historiker  freut und einigen Rindern die Beine kosten sollte.

Here you go:

Watch live video from falschgold LIVE on Justin.tv

For 10 eaters

Ingridients:

• a chicken, if you’re rich, buy an organic one, but a frozen one from the Tier-KZ will do. (Squeeze a tear for the poor animal, tortured by our desperate, industrialized society. Thanks. You can smile again.)
• 750g Black rice (you get it from the Thai) or, if not at hand, brown rice (unmilled, nutty flavor). Not the normal, parboiled rice, not risotto, basmati or what else..
• 2 bell peppers
• 3-4 scallions
• oriental spices (see below)
• Oil
• Soy Sauce (a lot)

Put the chicken in a pot, cover with water, add some more water, as we need a lot of liquid. Do not add salt! Bring to a boil, let cook for 2 hours, more if you like.

Remove the chicken, let cool.

Bring the broth to a boil again, add some soy sauce, but don’t make it as salty as you normally would do, as we want to add salty soy sauce later to the salad. Add rice, cook rice until done. Don’t let it get to soft, a slight crunch is welcome here. Strain, but keep the remaining broth! Let the rice cool.

Dice the bell pepper, cut the scallions in half, lengthwise, and chop it into half rings.

De-bone the chicken, chop the good stuff coarsely.  Take the leftovers and FEED THE FUCKING CAT ! (which is whining for two hours now). In lack of a cat, cover leftovers with water, let simmer for hours and make another serving of broth for future use.

Mix the pepper, scallion and rice (not the chicken yet). Add some oil and a lot of soy sauce. Make an oriental spice mix. This is fun, don’t us premade stuff:

Into a mortar and pestle put:

• some black pepper
• lots of coriander seeds (not cilantro)
• not as much, but a rather large part cumin
• one capsule cardamom (only the black seeds inside. careful, only one capsule, this is strong stuff)
• one clove
• half a star anis
• some fennel seeds are fun

add coarse salt and grind finely.

Add the spice mix to the rice salad. How much? You almost cannot put to much into it, but if you’re a… chicken-hearted kind of cook, add the spice mix in portions.

Thoroughly mix the salad. Use your hands, this is the most fun in cooking.

Taste. Tastes like shit? This is normal, use MUCH more soy sauce, put oil into the salad (neutral, no olive oil or stuff), mix again. To dry? Add broth. Still not perfect? Add more spices. Not satisfied yet? Wait. Let the salad rest for a while, mix again. Add more broth (as the rice soaked it in), maybe a little more soy sauce. In the process, when you come near satisfaction, add the chicken. Don’t do it to early, as you don’t want to have the chicken pieces  get to stringy..

When in doubt, let someone else taste, he will tell you it’s perfect, as you loose your perspective with all the strong spices. Don’t panic, everyone will love it!

For 10 eaters

Ingridients (roughly..)

• 2 jars pickles (around 500g), preferable two or three differnt kinds. If you’re in Germany, get “Senfgurken” (mustard cucumbers), which are peeled, quite soft and on the sweet side and “Dillgurken” (dill cucumbers), slices of cucumber, pickled with dill and unusual sweet (and sour). Avoid garlicky pickles.
• 2 onions
• 4 leeks
• 4 potatoes
• mid size package frozen peas (200g)
• 20 Eggs (really..)
• neutral oil and/or butter

Chop the onions and sweat them in oil/and or butter on very low heat. Add the leeks, which should be chopped into quarters of rings, which is easy: cut away the green stuff, then make a long cut from the stem to the tip of the leek, but leave the lowest inch of the stem intact. Do the same again after turning the leek 90 degrees (lengthwise, how else?). Now You can open up the leek like a pony’s tail. Wash it carefully. Wash it again. Now chop rings from the top of the leek and you get quarter rings.  Peel the potatoes and cut them in small pieces, add them to the onions and leeks. (If you have no meathaters as your guests, add a handful lardons)

Keep the heat very low. Try to sweat the vegetables for half an hour without browning. The longer, the tastier the soup will get.

Now cover with water, add salt, pepper, the peas, turn on the heat and bring to boil.

Strain the Pickles. STOP. Keep the liquids, we’ll need them in a minute. Chop the pickles if necessary, add them to the soup. Let cook slowly for 10 minutes.

Taste.

Tastes like vegetable soup? Add pickle liquids. But be careful, we don’t want to get it to sour. So, just a sip, stir, taste. Still like vegatable soup? Add pickle liquids. Taste again. If it gets to sour, add water, if it is way to sour, try to save the soup with sugar, but try to avoid this in the first place.

Let cook for 5 minutes, add salt if neccessary. Take away two cups of the soup, process, add back to give it some opacity. Add garden herbs if on hand (parsley, chives, cress, frozen is fine)

Turn off the heat, from now on, the soup must not bubble anymore, as we are adding whole eggs now.

Get a cup and 20 eggs (2 per person, more if you like). Crack one egg into the cup. Add a pinch of salt and pepper. Let it slowly sink into the soup. Repeat 20 times, for each egg try to find a place in the soup which isn’t occupied yet. (BTW, this is THE time to learn how to crack an egg with one hand )

Close the lid and wait at least half an hour, as the eggs need to get solid. Do not turn on the heat!

Serve, putting at least one egg into each bowl. Praise my Grandma.